Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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