Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize