He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
