Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
