Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
