You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
