i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just cropdusted the office
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
