'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
try to milk me bitch
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