On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
