im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
