Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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