This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
