yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
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Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize