Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
