3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm so fucking centered right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
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I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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