whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
