Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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