I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
