just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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