Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
