That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I looked at my own cervix.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
