is your mom at the bar?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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