Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
