So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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