we're chasing vodka with high fives
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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