What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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