I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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