You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fuck appropriateness.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
