i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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