that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
