i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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