margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
