Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
