I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what the fuck happened to the tacos
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
