i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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