I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
