I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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