We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
