Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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