good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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