Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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