I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
