Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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