i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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