so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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