absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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