Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
