Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize