did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
