week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
