We're facebook friends in real life
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
