I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
