I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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