I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize