i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
