My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
