I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
