Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
