is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
