Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
