this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
