My pussy is not your playground.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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