sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
